This set of questions has been making the rounds on Bluesky. Normally I don't care for these, but the questions generally pretty good. Rather than post a bunch of skeets that people have to look for, I figured I'd just save you the trouble and answer them all here.
1. On the spectrum from submissive to dominant how do you currently define yourself?
Currently, I’m calling myself a submissive switch; I’m perfectly happy to play either role, but I prefer to sub at the moment. That has changed before, and will probably change again.
2. Do any people from your everyday life know about your kink side?
Very few. I don’t really associate with people who aren’t also kinky. My parents know a little bit about the situation, but probably not how deep the rabbit hole goes.
3. Do you consider any pieces of media formative to your kink identity?
As a child I had an illustrated bible, and there was plenty of artwork of people in bondage. The story of Samson and Delilah was particularly influential.
4. Rubber / leather/ Lycra / sportswear / other?
Everything except rubber really. To be clear, I find it aesthetically pleasing, but the amount of work it takes to maintain that gear, plus the risk of damaging it ranks it at the bottom of my interests.
5. How many dildos/butt plugs/anal insertables do you currently own?
Oh boy this is gonna be a recurring topic. There’s a few floating around, but they’re either my husbands or Not For Fuckin (NFF). Anal isn’t really something I’m into...
6. Describe your feelings about being fucked / your bottoming journey
…that being said, I really like the idea of getting fucked. I’m fucked up in that I can’t detach sex from power exchange; for me in my mind there’s always a submissive partner and a dominant partner. So I definitely wish I could get tied up and fucked, but no amount of training or playing with myself or trying it out has worked. It’s just an unpleasant sensation that I don’t enjoy and makes it really hard to maintain any sort of headspace.
7. Excluding dildos, talk about the first kinky toy you owned
The first explicitly kinky toy I got for myself was a set of wrestling gear from Dicks. I was worried that my parents would see the transaction on my account statements so I went to my bank (in person!), withdrew some money in the form of a visa gift card, and ordered a singlet, shoes, and headgear from Dicks dot com. I still have the singlet and headgear to this day, almost 15 years later.
8. What is the most explicit thing you’ve ever posted online that shows your face?
Face + exposed dick is the most explicit thing I’ve ever shared. It’s rare but it does happen. I generally try to only post one or the other for the sake of plausible deniability.
9. Do you have any designated spaces/furniture set up for your kinks?
Of course! When we bought our house I said I wanted four bedrooms or a basement. We didn’t get the basement but the fourth bedroom is our playroom (or gym, if you’re here to do some maintenance). It’s not much, but it does the trick.
10. If you have a hot historic photo of yourself that hasn't made it to BlueSky yet, this is your free motivation to post it
I think this pic of me and Spark is pretty damn good.
11. Have you ever written erotic fiction, and are you willing to share?
Heck yes I have! Here it is! This was borne out of one of those stupid Tumblr captions where it’s so outlandish all you can do is roll your eyes. Nevertheless, it sparked me to sit down and bang that out, so I did. I also challenged myself to make the language as non-gendered as possible, so the reader can imagine whatever they want for the protagonist.
12. Have you ever drawn or commissioned kinky art to satisfy your own fetishes, and are you willing to share?
Yes, I have, no I’m not willing to share it. I also don’t count it as drawing, but I’ve spent entirely too much time dabbling with a local version of StableDiffusion. It’s made a lot of crap and I feel like a chump for spending any amount of time on it.
13. Excluding medical reasons, what is the longest you’ve gone without having an orgasm since puberty?
32 days, during my early forays into being a boy to my former sir. It really sucked for 22 year old me, but 36 year old me could probably do that again no problem, not that I want to.
14. Do you have a close friend that you fantasise about, who doesn't know? If so, is there something specific involved?
Mmm, not really. I definitely fantasize about a lot of my friends, but I'm at the point where I'm comfortable telling them about the fucked up shit I want them to do to me. Turns out things are a lot more fun when you're up front about what you want rather than just letting it be your own little secret.
WHERE IT APPLIES, AND AVOIDING REPEATING YOURSELF, DESCRIBE A MEMORABLE SESSION WHERE...
15. ...you felt particularly submissive / controlled
Y'know... I just did that!
16. ...you felt particularly dominant / in
That would be my first time at Hampton, and generally any time I'm playing guard.
17. ...there was an element of public risk / threat of discovery involved
Hmmm... this isn't really something that particularly turns me on, so I tend to avoid those kinds of situations.
18. ...there were more than two participants
Oh man... too many to count. My favorite thing is to co-dom with someone and build off each other's energy. Simultaneously, being on the receiving end of that can also be a very good time.
19. ...there was an element of anonymity involved
It's really, really hard to have an anonymous scene when you were raised in the south. I'm too polite to really enjoy not knowing who I'm playing with. Too many times I've gotten drinks with a prospective play partner and we're trading names right off the bat. Sigh.
There was a time in my much younger, more foolish days where some guy wanted to wait for me, naked and blindfolded, to come into his apartment and abuse him. It was very, very hot but I insisted on cuddling afterwards and getting to know him. We didn't stay in touch.
20. ...you felt like you were taken well out of your comfort zone
One of the best ways to make sure I have an anxiety attack is to make me feel like I'm in an altered state. Anything that makes my body feel "off" is a huge problem for me. As a result, I tend to not drink very much and don't really enjoy being high. Turns out, this also extends to catheters.
A few months ago Nitro offered to give me my first catheter experience. He got me all strapped down and got the cath installed properly and I immediately freaked out. The sensation of peeing, but not peeing made me spiral pretty badly. We wound up aborting the scene early and helping me recover.
21. ...there was an element of endurance or extended restraint
Probably the toughest scene for me was overnight in a friends padded cell. I was stuck in a set of wrist-to-waist humane restraints so getting comfortable was challenging. When I finally did drift off to sleep, I woke up and had really bad vertigo because the cell was pitch black. Other than that, any predicament bondage is tough for me because I'm not in suuuuuper duper good shape. I need to work on that.
22. ...pain was a major element
Pain doesn't necessarily do anything for me; I prefer the threat of more pain vs. the actual pain. I'd say about once a year I get really in the mood for a good beating. The first time this happened was back in 2015 at MAL. I was supposed to meet up with a friend in his room, but he wasn't there. His roommates made sure I was ready when he got there though, and I got put through the ringer for about three hours. Those little carbon fiber stingy rods hurt like a motherfucker.
I've also found myself really enjoying spanking as of late. Do with that information what you will.
23. ...anal was a major element
Like I said before, anal isn't a huge part of what I'm into so I've not done much here.
24. ...watersports / filth / raunch was a major element
IML 2016: I'd been talking to BondageAviator about punching my WS card and he was more than happy to oblige. Since then I've had plenty of ws experiences, but I'm always looking for more. Especially if its a forced self-recycling scene 😏
25. ...something unusual was a turn on for you / your partner
26. ...the setup was particularly creative
These last questions are supposed to be yes/no only, but eff that
27. Have you got any major fetishes that you don't talk about on this account?
Two big ones:
Nooses: It's a peril thing for me; I enjoy being in a situation where I can't relax my legs without choking myself. Let those calves get nice and sore. That's my kinda scene. The actual strangulation and breath control part doesn't do anything for me though.
Tribal Apparel: So first off I understand that this is close to being exceptionally problematic and I apologize in advance for that. I really like the way a pair of moccasin boots and a loincloth look, it makes me feel vulnerable. My biggest fantasy right now is to spend a weekend camping and not being allowed to wear anything but this.
28. Have you ever fantasised about a close relative?
Nope.
29. Do you feel that you have ever "really crossed the line" during a session?
I've spent the last 14 years doing this and I like to think I have a very good handle on myself and how to read people. So no, I haven't, and if I ever did that would be a huge personal failure on my part. Even having someone use a safeword is a big problem for me.
30. Do you have any sexual fantasies that would be legally risky to attempt?
Nah.