I have been exceptionally horny lately. Granted my baseline is about a 7, but I feel like I’ve been at 9 or 10 for the last two weeks or so. A lot of it probably stems from doing a fair amount of introspection and trying to put to words what makes a great scene for me. The result of that work is what I’m calling my Field Notes. It’s a short(?) overview of what makes me tick. Stuff that works, elements that don’t, and ways I like to engage in kink.

I think Pain did a good job of spurring some conversation, and I hope this post does as well. Obviously I’m also selfishly sharing this to give prospective play partners more background as well.

I’ll include the current version of my Field Notes below, but the updated version will live here.

Field Notes

How I’m Wired

In short: coercion over punishment, psychological over physical, and a distinction between the role I’m playing versus me. Keep my mind busy.

Pain

I am not a masochist. The threat of pain is generally more engaging for me than actual pain. I prefer to ramp up to a moderate level and plateau there, rather than escalating to a 10. It works best as a coercive tool rather than something to punish me with. I would much rather cry from being frustrated that a spanking won’t stop instead of the intensity.

Psychological vs. Physical Sensations

Generally speaking I enjoy psychological experiences. Stuff that keeps my mind engaged, rather than having to focus on physical feelings. Counting, following rules, communicating, etc. If I have nothing to focus on, my mind tends to wander and I wind up falling out of the headspace.

My Role

A wise man once told me that it’s humiliation of the role, not the person. I’ve always tried to take that to heart, going into a scene with an eye for playing a character. Most of the time that happens in my head, but I want to try and be more intentional about it. I’ll be doing what I can to put myself in that headspace before a scene, and informing my play partner (instead of letting them fill in the gaps while we’re playing). Taking a few moments to do this before a scene, and engaging with that role (instead of me) will create a much richer experience.

Less is More

Bondage and gear maximalism is always welcome, but not always ideal. There’s a certain level of vulnerability I get when the restraints offer me just a little bit of freedom. Enough to think I might have a chance, but ultimately fruitless. Leather restraints, medical restraints, and chains are favored for these kinds of experiences.

The same concept can be applied to outfits; minimally covering clothing can put me in a deeper headspace than straight up nudity. The false sense of modesty can increase my feeling of vulnerability, especially as clothing is removed.

Punishments

I am not generally wired towards misbehaving; I lack the urge to “brat out”. A scene for me works best when I start from a zero point and earn privileges back based on good behavior. For example being allowed to check my phone, or use furniture, or await my next assignment in a more comfortable manner.

Occasional maintenance punishments can also be administered to keep me in the headspace. As with the pain section above, milder and longer is preferred over short and intense.

Personas

I’m working to establish a few personas I can put on for a given scene. These are generally intended to help me get into and maintain a headspace.