Playing with OJ: A HOWTO GUIDE
Hello! Are you NEW, CURIOUS OR JUST GETTING BACK INTO THE SWING OF THINGS?
That's fuckin' awesome! Welcome to the sexual revolution, we're glad to have you along. You probably stumbled across my profile on Recon or Fetlife (but not GF, let's be real) and subsequently found my blog. You might ahve even read some of my previous posts and said to yourself "Self, that OJ guy sounds like more fun than a barrel of silly string. I wonder if he'd ever like to play with me..."
Lemme stop you right there. Of fucking COURSE I'd like to play with you. In fact, I'd love to play with you. I like playing, maybe you noticed. So... what the hell do I mean when I say play?
Generally, in a scene with someone new there's a lot of power-exchange, Dom/sub play going on, I like reminding people that they don't have power. Subs can expect everything from getting strapped down and edged to getting manhandled a bit. I'm not (much of)a sadist. I don't inflict a lot of pain and I don't get off on seeing someone in pain (I know guys who do though). I like locks, chains and leather. I don't play with rope, I don't know rope. I'm very, very much into all sorts of fetish gear. Leather, spandex, sports gear, you name it, I like seeing guys wearing it. In the likely chance that you don't have anything along those lines to wear, I'll be happy to outfit you (again, Dom/sub play). A general rule of thumb is: If it gives you a boner when you put it on, wear it. Chances are that I'm into whatever it is too. Which brings me to my next point:
SEX. Now that I have your attention, let's talk about sex. Anal isn't a "thing" when I play. I do not tie people up and fuck them. People do not tie me up and fuck me. The most I do is oral, but really only because it plays a role in the power exchange. For me, bondage is sex. Even then, my orgasm isn't important. Your orgasm is slightly more important, only because I like keeping you on edge. I've got no quarrel with people who mix kink and fucking but that's not me.
Like I said, I get it. You're new. You're curious. You're moderately scared. You've got plenty of non-stupid questions (because there is no such thing as a stupid question). Good. We're going to discuss your questions and concerns over a nice lunch or dinner before we even think about playing. What I won't do is play 20 questions with you over Recon/Grindr(yes, I'm talking to YOU), filly-farting around WTF I mean when I say I'm kinky. Those conversations never go anywhere and I'm not going to waste my time. Nothing good has ever come from beating around the bush with regards to playing. Asking for a pic or two is fine, asking for a picture of my dick is a flag that tells me you're wasting my time. Either set a date to meet up and discuss What It Is That I Do™ or move on. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
Addendum: Again, I have absolutely zero judgment against people who play differently from me. I just feel significantly dissimilar from the zeitgeist and I want to make sure everyone's on the same page when it comes to playing or even just hanging out.