I’ve got a bunch of thoughts running around in my head that aren’t well thought out enough for their own posts. As always, these are my thoughts and I’m not positioning myself as anyone with anything more than my own personal take on things.
- On switching – So a lot of newer folks on Recon seem to either swing 100% active or 100% passive. I’m not saying that’s bad and that they should stop, but I sincerely hope that people keep an open mind. In my (still somewhat limited) experience, kinksters tend to mellow out and skew more 50/50. This injects a LOT of good energy into the scene.
- Subs: Know what they do and don’t like, what is or isn’t painful etc etc. That knowledge can be tremendously useful, especially when they play with less experienced folks. The first few times I played, I subbed to guys who identified as more submissive
- Doms: Personally, knowing that someone who’s Dominant has had experience as a sub puts me more at ease. They have a better idea of what might and might not work.
But to summarize: New folks, don’t feel like you need to pick a Dom or sub role and stick with it forever
- On Puppy Play – I’ve made no secret of the fact that I don’t identify with the pup scene anymore (or maybe I have. Either way, surprise!). I read people’s accounts of going to moshes or pupping out at events and I just don’t feel like that appeals to me. I’d chalk it up to social anxiety and a lack of experience with that sort of environment, but I’ve tried. I gave moshing a hell of a chance at MAL and I just hated it. I’ve heard that puppy play started off as a form of punishment  and it’s definitely an aspect that I enjoy. I don’t want to be a good boy, I don’t want to get scritches, I don’t want to play fetch.I want to be treated like an animal.
- On Dating – I’m seeing someone. I haven’t made a big deal about it because, well, I don’t really want to. Screaming to the world about how deeply we’re in love or posting a billion pictures of us on Twitter doesn’t seem right. I dunno, maybe I’m just maturing.
- On Anxiety – It’s been kicking my ass hardcore for the last 18 months or so. I’m only just now starting to feel like I’m back to the point where I can play again. Scary shit. I use some of these techniques as coping mechanisms. Most importantly, I don’t worry about the stigma (it never really occurred to me to worry about it). Talk to your close friends and loved ones.