Time passes

It has been a while since my last blog post/scene recap, so I suppose I should put something here. The problem is I don’t have anything to post about. I originally started my blog as a way to document my ascension (or decension rather?) from an inexperienced man to a seasoned, submissive boy. Three months after my first experience, I think I’m there. Of course, “there” is an ever-changing, nebulous goal so I’ll never be “there”, but I’ve become comfortable enough with the routine that every experience is mind-blowing anymore.

That’s the biggest takeaway from all of this: I’m way comfortable doing these things now than I was when I first started. Like I said in my post about SELF, I didn’t want anyone to touch my cock or even go near that area. A month after that I was tied to a wall at 1763 and getting mercilessly edged. Even my biggest barriers and hangups about assplay are breaking down now. Q3 2011 has been one hell of a ride and some of the most fun I’ve ever had. I’ll say it again, thank you to everyone (and I mean EVERYONE) who’s given me advice or even just spoken with me about this. You really have truly changed my life for the better.

Of course, it’s not all about the bondage and getting jerked off. I’ve been out of the closet now for two years and I never felt like I was very good at this whole “being gay” thing. I’m straight-acting, I don’t give off a vibe, my “gaydar” is completely ineffectual. And then I became friends with Loki and other men, men who have been where I am, who could give me the advice and confidence I need to maybe start a relationship. This past weekend for example, Loki talked* me into going to the LGBT parties at Dragon*Con. I would have never even considered doing anything like that before now, but a little bit of confidence is a powerful thing. I went, I met some awesome folks and I had a good time. Most importantly though, I wasn’t at all nervous about it. No leg shaking, no tunnel vision, nothing like that. Just a confident, cute** boy chatting up other cute boys. It was awesome. Thank you sir.

*Ok, he technically locked me in a puppy collar and had dragged me around on a leash, but my point still stands.

**Cute AND modest!

Alright, lets not beat around the bushes, we all know why we’re here. I’ve been lazy about recapping my sessions, so you’ll have to make do with a chronological overview via pictures.

I played with K and M again, this is me spreadeagled on their futon.

And the ingenious gridwall. 😀

Fresh, fantastic haircut.

Gear night at The Eagle. (Thanks to atlantarubber for finding the UA shirt at a thrift store and thinking of me 🙂 )

Photos from my shoot at 1763 are available on my various profiles, linked at the top of the sidebar.

Amateur Night at The Eagle

This past Friday, Loki/Sir dragged me out to Atlanta’s leather bar, The Eagle, mostly to introduce me to the friend’s He’s made in the last charm year or so and to show off His new boy (that’s me!). I was, of course, exceptionally nervous. I’ve never been to Kunde1 a gay bar before, let alone a gay leather bar. Had I not received my training collar two days before, I would have most likely backed out completely. However, seeing as how a collar means “hands-off” to almost everyone (even those not in the lifestyle), I felt ok about it.

Friday morning, Loki and I traded a flurry of IMs addressing my questions and concerns about the evening. I knew that, as his boy, He would have expectations for how I was to dress for the evening. Luckily for me, the dress code for a leatherboy is relatively straightforward: a t-shirt and jeans that fit, black leather boots laced over the pant legs and of course, a collar. Of course, the only boots I have are a pair of old-school, scuffed-to-all-hell combat boots I picked up at a thrift store for about $10 a few years ago. They were passable for a first-timer though, so I stuck with them.

Before I could do that though, I needed to swing by Target to grab a t-shirt, socks and belt to complete my leatherboy Dos ensemble. Part of my new position as Loki’s boy means that I have to wear the training collar as much as possible, including Target. I slipped it on in the parking lot (sans lock, baby steps, you know) and proudly strode through the doors. Part of me hoped that people would chicagobearsjerseyspop stare or point, another part hoped things would go smoothly. Fortunately, the latter is what actually happened. Perhaps it was the demographics of that particular store, or maybe collars are more mainstream now, but it was business as usual.

That done, my next stop was The Eagle to meet Loki for dinner before the evening began. I parked in the lot out back, He gave me a quick tour of the bar and then we went back outside so I could put on my boots before we walked up the street to grab some food. As I’ve said before, hanging out in a vanilla setting and talking shop is a lot of fun for me and this dinner was no exception.

With dinner over, we wandered back down to The Eagle and staked out a spot on the back porch. By this point I started to get into the boy mentality as best I could. I made an effort to stand out of the way, be as helpful as possible and basically let Loki enjoy me as He pleased. This mostly consisted of him holding me close in a bear hug and me floating off into subspace.

As the night wore on, more and more people started to arrive (it was, after all, a Friday) and I was able to meet some of the Злофоризм movers and shakers of Atlanta’s Gay Leather scene, including Sir Alan and his boy, Nitro, just back from winning the Mister International Leather Sir and boy titles for 2011 (congratulations to them both). Shortly after this Deep we Zinciri moved inside to where the Panther Leather/Levi Club (Panther LL) had taken over a bar to raise money for their community service projects.

We spent the remainder of the evening socializing and having our boots blacked by a pair of wonderful ladies getting ready to compete for a regional title at the end of La September. Loki informed that He expected me to become familiar with the bootblacking process as well. I’m sure there will be more of that in the near First future.

It’s Saturday Night Bind!

EDIT: I also want to point out Loki’s expectations for someone in my position. It’s an excellent read.

Last weekend I managed to sneak away and spend a few hours with Loki (My new Sir) and some of His friends at Master Dan’s for an evening of playtime and related fun. As always, my expectations for this session were far exceeded by what actually happened, both in terms of what I experienced and the barriers I broke through.

Things started off fairly slow, Loki collared me right off the bat with a nice thick leather collar with an o-ring on the front. A few minutes later, I was sitting on a bench with my wrists chained behind my back in “timeout” because I had broken chastity that morning. I was however able to spectate DJ getting suspended in a straitjacket and K getting saran wrapped to a column and edged, so not all was lost.

Once those scenes were complete, I was released and promptly chained to the bench so that I was bent over it on my knees with my back exposed. Shortly thereafter I was blindfolded with the spandex hood and left to ponder what would come next. K was nice enough to give me a foot massage while Loki prepared for what was about to come. Suddenly the foot massage stopped and the room fell strangely quiet in anticipation. Completely out of nowhere I felt a sharp, burning sensation on my left shoulder blade. Wax play! It had been on my list of things that I wanted to try but I never expected to do it this soon. Seeing that I was perfectly happy to receive it, Loki continued dribbling tiny globs of liquid wax onto my back for the next 10-15 minutes. Thanks to plenty of reading on the subject, I knew that the strong and silent types suffered more pain with this sort of thing so I knew I’d be best off making as much noise as I felt necessary to lessen the pain. It didn’t get me very far when Loki unleashed a torrent of wax for the finale though.

After we finished up with that (and my back had been iced down and de-waxed), Loki, K and I regrouped downstairs to chat about the various experiences while we tried to figure out what would happen next. At least, that’s what K and I did, I get the impression that Loki had planned out the entire evening thanks to the homework assignment he gave me earlier in the week. After a few minutes, He had me lock a collar on K’s neck and toss him in the cage set up under Master Dan’s playroom. Once I rejoined him in the main room, He slowly pulled my singlet the rest of the way down and had me step out of it so I was standing in just my underwear. Then He put me in a bear hug and started bringing into subspace. Biting my ears, tickling my stomach and forcing my abs to clench, some light edging and kissing is all it took and I was His. I obediently followed Him back to the cage room where He had me sit on the edge of a mattress while He sat down next to me and held me close.

I was deep into subspace at this point but I knew what was coming next. We’d talked about it over IM earlier and I knew we were both ready. He had me lay down with my head in his lap, gazing up into His eyes. He smiled coyly as His hands ran up and down my arms, abs, crotch and legs. And then I felt one of His hands slip under the waistband of my underwear and start massaging my cock. I immediately tensed up, this was an unusual sensation for me. It had happened at previous events, but only through a singlet or underwear. No man had ever gotten this hands-on with me before. It was only going to get better though. After a few minutes of edging me he pulled the waistband almost all the way down so it propped up my cock and balls. I giggled, not believing what was happening to me. Of course, this ruined the mood and He told me to stop which only made it worse. So He held me down and slapped my cock, telling me again to stop laughing. By this point I was in complete hysterics, completely unable to control my laughter. Eventually I calmed down enough for Him to have me sit up so He could take my underwear all the way off and not give it back. Then He dragged me out of the cage room and back into the main area to help me get over my fear of public nudity.

A few appreciative comments about my endowment later and all my fear evaporated. Just like all the other barriers I’d broken through over the last four sessions, there was absolutely nothing to be afraid of. After some idle chitchat, Loki grabbed me by my collar and pulled me over the spanking bench, which I was promptly tied to. Holy hell did I feel vulnerable with my ass exposed like that. Loki knew that sex and related business is off limits, so it was quite obvious as to why I was tied down. My theory was confirmed as Loki grabbed a paddle from the nearby pile and started spanking me. Just like everything else, it started slowly and gradually worked up me to shouting “FUCK” after every hit. A few minutes in I was blindfolded with a padded disc blindfold while Loki continued to work me over, alternately beating my ass and teasing/edging me. Eventually He put a glove on one hand and worked on me with that. It was definitely a unique sensation, not knowing for sure if it was Him or someone else running their hands up and down my back. Deciding I’d had enough, He moved back towards my head and once again, taking advantage of my position, grabbed my hair and forced me to make out with him for a few moments.

He decided that I’d had enough of that and untied me before He slowly helped me off the bench and back on my feet. I hugged Him, got a glass of water and stole a seat on the couch between Him and K while Master Dan regaled us with stories and experiences from His past. Loki had me try on a silicone ball spacer (loved it) while K got a chance to try out the infamous ball crusher (veeeeeeery interested). I stood around for a few moments, and noting that nothing seemed to be happening, told Loki that I felt a little too free at the moment. Seeing as how he was in the middle of a mandatory break, Master Dan offered to let me try out his bondage bed.

Now this thing is a work of art. It’s a few layers of plywood+support beams, wrapped in leather and padding with metal hooks lining each side, suspended from the ceiling by six chains. It feels sturdy and it’s intimidating as hell. Combine that with Master Dan’s expert ropework and you’re in for one hell of a ride. Which is exactly what happened to me. He started slowly, loosely tying my wrists to the middle support chain with just enough slack so that I could almost-but-not-quite reach my cock. He then focused on securing my upper arms and followed up with an intricate web securing my thighs, legs and ankles in place. Once that was done, he took a smaller rope and ran it between my legs, crisscrossing back and forth between the harness. Now I couldn’t move my legs together or apart. He used a similar technique to secure my upper body: a smaller rope was crisscrossed over my arms and chest, looped around a hook on the edge and then the process was repeated. By the time he was done, the only things I could move were my feet and head. The former was addressed by means of a pulley and some rope tied to my foot and balls, so when I moved my foot, the rope Seattle pulled my balls. I stopped moving my feet shortly thereafter. The movement of my head was addressed by Loki joining us and holding it down, either with a hand on my forehead on with His lips on (in and around) my mouth.

What is bondage without torment though? Not content to let me lay there and stew in my haze of endorphins, Master Dan had the brilliant idea to stick every vibrator in the house on top of my cock. Keep in mind that Loki still hadn’t given me permission to shoot, so I was focusing most of my willpower on not making a mess. A few minutes of this though and I was about ready to lose it completely. All too soon they started untying me and the evening slowly wound down. Loki held me and helped me come back from the subspace I’d been in since the hot wax.

In the grand scheme of things, this was probably my most important session to date, Basic both in terms of what I was able experience and my developing relationship with Loki as my Sir. At the same time, the confidence boost I got from being naked in front of people is going to have a profoundly positive impact on future play plans. I’ve stopped feeling like some new kid who’s just trying to fake it and more like someone who could do this sort of thing for a long, long time. We’ll have to see what happens though.

The Deep End

Oh boy, I’ve done it now…

A few weeks ago, I told loki that I wanted to explore my submissive side by becoming his boy. Keep in mind that, a year ago, he was going through a similar process (which he documented on his blog) and that being a “sir” was a completely new experience for him.

But it looks like he caught the urge too so now here we are: Every time we’ve played together I’ve had a collar locked around my neck and his name is Sir. Jerking off without his First permission is verboten^1 and now I’ve wholesale nba jerseys got a homework assignment:

Loki: part of what’s in my raft is the willingness of the boy to do some introspection and occasional homework assignments. So here’s your assignment:

Loki: Four lists

Loki: 3-5 things you’ve done and loved, 3-5 things you’ve done and haven’t enjoyed

Loki: 3-5 things you really want to do

Loki: And anything that’s absolutely off limits

  • Things I’ve loved

    • Being submissive – Slap a collar, some handcuffs and a leash on me and you’ve got a sub. Tell me I can’t jerk off and I’ll be hard as a rock. Give me orders and I’ll melt into a puddle of endorphin-fueled bliss^2.
    • Flogging – Oh lord flogging is awesome.
    • Topping – Having power of someone else is awesome. My bottom of choice is a wonderfully sensitive guy with buttons to press all over his body. And he hates being in public in just a jock.
    • Straitjackets – It’s like you can’t stop hugging yourself! That aside, there’s something about being strapped into a SJ, blindfolded and left kneeling somewhere that really appeals to me.
    • Wrestling – I’ve only done it once, but had I been thinking, I would have asked the top to tie me up once I was pinned.
    • Talking – For the last decade, I’ve been into bondage and gear. For the last five-seven years I’ve been scouring the internet, trying to find what interests me. But I never engaged. I had empty profiles on Recon and GearFetish for years before I put anything into them. But my second day at SELF I met the group I play with and was able to speak freely and openly about my bondage and gear fetishes. It was amazing to just shoot the shit like that.
  • Things I haven’t enjoyed

    • Tickling – Not that I really have an opinion when I’m chained to a wall, but tickling kinda takes me out of the headspace. But if the top likes it, well then I don’t really have another option.
    • Gags – It sucks and I hate it more than anything, but I’ve got a highly active gag reflex. For the time being, gags that fill the mouth behind the teeth are a no-go. Bar/bit gags and muzzles are preferred.
    • Standing bondage – I’ve been tied to walls and cages several times over the last month and I’ll tell you what, my back is killing me. I’ll be the first to admit, 1763 isn’t exactly set up for me to lie down, but I think a balance of standing/sitting/kneeling/lying down would be ideal.
    • Pup Play – I’ve done this a little bit, but was unable to get into the proper headspace. Of course, this also happened at 1763 in front of about 40 other guys, so that’s not entirely unexpected. I do want to try it again though.
  • Things I really want to do

    • Get punished – Everything you can think of, from stress positions to hair pulling is on the table if I act out.
    • Roleplay/Interrogation – I know it sounds a bit silly, but I can think up Towards a few scenarios I’d like to play out one wholesale jerseys day. They all tie in nicely with…
    • Gear fetishes – Karate uniforms, wetsuits, football uniforms, basically any sports gear + bondage is something I’d like to explore even more, now that I’ve started doing this for real.
    • Long term captivity – I’d love to be kept in some form of restraint for a whole weekend Sand one day. Fist mitts and a muzzle? Locked in a cage? Chained to a pole in your basement?
  • Things that are off limits

    • Poppers or drugs of any sort – Common sense more than anything. I’ve read far too many horror stories about this sort charm of thing cheap nfl jerseys and it’s one of many reasons why I do my due diligence^3.
    • Sounding – Nope. Don’t get the appeal. Keep that away from my dick.
    • Scat/WS/Blood/Permanent Marks – Absolutely not.
    • Sex of any kind – Two reasons. First, bondage is sex for me. Fucking doesn’t really add anything to the scene. And second, I’m saving myself for that special someone ?
    • Other things – An apology in advance: I don’t know what my limits ?r?k are just yet. It’s only a matter of time before one Dos of the unknowns pops up in the middle of a scene and I have to safeword out.

So there you have it. That’s me in a nutshell.

Footnotes

  1. I’ve wholesale jerseys been under this rule for about 24 hours now and it goede sucks. At the same time though, I got up early this morning and was at work 45 minutes before I was supposed to be. Go figure.

  2. Side thought: I’m normally a very alpha, leader type person. Never thought I’d be into this sort of thing but here I am.

  3. EVERYONE should do due diligence on prospective play partners. Play safe damnit!

Third time’s the charm

One, big, sweaty gropefest of a charm. A bridge building, barrier breaking charm.

Last cheap mlb jerseys month at SELF, the gentlemen I played with were kind enough to invite me to a regional play party for all the gay and bisexual guys into kink around Atlanta. Being the horny, innocent guy I was, I said I’d love to and spent the next month in a state of constant excitement/nervousness, in keeping with my previous posts.

I think rather than try to summarize things chronologically, it would be best to go through my experiences one by one, starting with my favorite.

The biggest, most important event of the evening was breaking through my biggest barrier: my cock. Up ’til now I’ve been incredibly nervous about it, the way it looks, the way it behaves. However, an unexpected guest, who shall remain nameless, unaware of my limits in that area, went right for it, skipping the pleasantries. So here I was, presented with a challenge. This stranger I had only known for two hours was suddenly getting very personal with my dick, something that hadn’t happened since my last physical when I was in 8th grade. Should I stop him, I thought to myself, or just go with it? Everyone in the room could sense my hesitation.

I elected to go with it. And let me tell you, that was the right decision. The ice was broken and the fun really started. The stranger, who I’ll call M from here on, spent the next 15 minutes or so groping, choking and tickling me while his partner (who I’ll call K) got some sensation play wholesale jerseys done to him by loki.

The second, but far more fun thing was me topping K. I had been considering it for some time, but after M broke the ice I decided facilement I would do it. The only problem was, K was a teensy bit nervous about being around so many people. The only way I saw to fix that was to put a collar and leash on him with his hands cuffed behind his back while he was wearing nothing but an underarmour jockstrap. We did that for a few minutes (someone trying to give a handjob with their wrists cuffed is cheap jerseys the cutest thing…) before I had a huge brainwave.

After about five minutes of trying to wrangle gear and a space, I finally had K standing against Dos a wall with his wrists and ankles chained off to the corners, leaving his entire body completely exposed. Not being one to waste a good thing, I took advantage of the situation and gave him what I thought was a very good sensation play session from a beginner. Trusting my instincts, I did whatever felt right, pinching his nipples, choking him a little bit or even just embracing wholesale nfl jerseys him. It felt absolutely incredible. The Tips reaction I got from pinching his nipples and handgagging him was amazing. Having that sort of control felt natural and right. I think I’m a true switch.

Breaking the ice with M lead directly to the fourth important thing, the one-on-one session I had with loki after I finished with K. In Dos, I talked at length about what he put me through to give me my first experience as a sub. With one of my limits removed however, this second experience was far more meaningful in terms of how I perceive him now and in the future.

Having bad experiences is a good thing as well, which is why number five is the suspension bondage I got to experience. From the get go, my physique made the suspension incredibly painful. The pressure on my hands from the cuffs was concentrated in my left palm, detracting a huge part of my mind from the experience. Not that it was all bad, the helplessness was a great feeling, especially when loki stepped on the chains linking the ankle restraints. Unfortunately, there was a lot of tickling involved.

Let me stop here and say that, while I didn’t particularly care for it, I understand tickling’s place in a top’s arsenal. Furthermore, while it’s not a limit, I really, really hate getting tickled, hence why I was mercilessly tickled by K, M and loki.

At one point, loki brought out a ballgag so they could keep my shrieking laughter down to a dull roar. I’m a huge proponent of gags, I think they make every scene better, but they’re not really for me as a bottom. For a while, I managed to hold my own, enjoying my newfound inability to speak. But then, something happened and my overactive gag reflex triggered. I jolted, almost nailed loki in the balls and Now had to spit the gag out (thank god it wasn’t buckled). The blame lies mostly on me though, I knew about my gag reflex and neglected to mention it when they first started talking about gags. Like I said though, bad experiences are good for your experience overall. I wont make that mistake with gags again.

There were other amazing experiences that night as well too. The straitjacket from SELF made a reappearance, as did the hood. I spent about half an hour in the SJ and hood, but I wouldn’t have minded skipping the entire thing. That night was about taking things slow and easing myself into things. The party though was more about exploring my boundaries and First limits, learning new things, getting more experience etc. I should say though that the SJ+hood combo got me in a really submissive space, especially since I was kneeling on the floor for a few minutes totally alone and blind.

I also got my first taste of pup play (thanks to whoever loaned out their fistmitts), being forced to crawl on all fours around the dungeon on a cheap mlb jerseys leash. If I do any of that in the future though, I’ll have to dedicate more time to getting into the proper headspace. I never got past just being on all fours. Something to think about in the future. Plus, I’ll also need some knee pads.

All in all, I had a fantastic evening and I’m eternally grateful to everyone who made it possible. Special thanks to M for blowing right through that barrier accidentally. I don’t know how I would have gotten past it on my own.

Dos

Saturday, atlloki and I attended an educational forum at 1763 (a local dungeon) with some playtime afterwards. He wanted to practice his ropework and I wanted to get tied up so it was a pretty good match.

I had earlier voiced my interest in being collared for an event and loki was happy to make that happen. He started me off with a short choke chain locked loosely around my neck. Like I mentioned in my last post, collars seem to really trigger my submissive side and this collar seemed to amplify that effect 10-fold. Not content with just that, he added a second brown leather collar strapped on (but not locked) tightly around my neck. Whereas the chain and lock were relatively light, this collar had some real weight to it and it stayed in the back of my mind all night.

Once I was properly collared we sat in on the evening’s main event: a talk about “landmines in the lifestyle”. While I personally don’t (think I) have any cheap MLB jerseys “landmines” it did make me more aware that others might and that you should ALWAYS talk to your top/bottom before a scene. Once that was done, we helped clear the tables and chairs out of the way and the fun could begin.

After we had secured our play area, loki told me it was time to start. Without batting an eye, I took off my shirt and jeans to reveal the new singlet I got early last week. Now I’m not going to lie here, I look damn good in any singlet and this one was no exception. No sags, no bunching, just a thin layer of polyester/spandex blend conforming to every inch of my upper body, leaving little to the imagination. loki got to work and quickly had wholesale NBA jerseys me wrapped in a tight foundation harness which he then used to secure my wrists and arms. This is what I looked like.

I’ve never been tied up with rope, so I’m not really qualified to judge him on the overall quality, but I had zero chance of escaping my bonds so he did a damn fine job in my book. By the time he was finished, I was standing straight as a rail lashed to a post at my shoulders, wrists, knees and ankles, unable to move anything except my hands.

Unfortunately, I’m not used to standing in one spot without moving for long periods of time so I had to be untied rather quickly. After a quick rest and water break, we moved into one of the quieter side rooms. Loki showed me some of the knots he had just used on me and gave me a chance to try them on my own. I asked some more “no question is too stupid” questions and ended with “hey, think I can try on that neoprene blackout hood?”.

Neoprene and I go back a few years. A wetsuit from Dick’s Sporting Goods was one of the first things I purchased thanks to the freedom of my driver’s license. I’ve spent many an hour at home, (self) bound in my closet, letting the heat turn the inside into a neopreney-smelling sauna, emerging with a smell that clings to me even after a heavy shower.

This was, to date, the heaviest hood I’ve worn and I (think) I took it like a champ, wearing it for about five minutes. The combination of being unable to see and having my airflow slightly restricted, as exciting as it is, can make me feel a bit panicky. I would have had to bail a lot sooner if loki hadn’t been touching me, letting me know he was there the whole time.

The hood came off, I checked out my hair in the mirror (hood hair = awesome hair) and we tried to decide what to do next. One of the other players wandered into our room and mentioned to loki that one of his friends was getting tied in the main room and that he should check it out. Right as he was getting up to leave Together I had a massive lightbulb go off in my head and I asked him to wait for a second.

I fished through his toybox, pulled out about 10 feet of rope and then grabbed the handcuffs out of my bag. I shackled my wrists in front, threaded the rope through the D-ring on the leather collar and handed the end to loki. I was a bit apprehensive about this part. I perceived that I was asking someone who was mostly submissive to take on a significantly dominant role in order to fulfill one of my fantasies. He was happy to take on the role however, leading me around the dungeon to spectate the other scenes, keeping the rope taught the whole time, reminding me that I was, in fact, the sub.

A few minutes into it, I really started to get into the submissive headspace. I tended to stay close to him and kept my head down, staring at the floor for the most part. He reciprocated by pulling in most of the slack on the leash to the point where I was unable to move any direction.

Perhaps he intended to do it all along, or maybe I tipped him off, but loki ramped it up after this point. He pulled me back to the room where we were set up and made me wait while he rifled through his toybox until he found what he was looking for: a spandex hood with a built in blindfold. It was slipped over my head and I said to myself “Self, surely he doesn’t expect you to walk around blind on a leash with your hands cuffed, does he?” He did indeed. However, as before with the neoprene hood, he was in contact cheap nba jerseys with me the entire way, switching between guiding me with a hand on my shoulder or shortening the leash to only a few inches. Finally he had me where he wanted me and pulled down on the leash until I was kneeling on the floor of the main dungeon.

In the past, I’ve been dismissive of “subspace”, thinking it wasn’t really my Time deal. Bondage is sex etc. But the things loki did, the sensation play, the embraces, the light breath control, got me in deep. It was incredible. After what felt like a few minutes (closer to 15) of light sensation play (fingernails dragged up and down my arms etc), he looped part the leash rope around my neck and Benefits applied some light pressure, just enough to cut off my airflow for a few seconds at a time. The first time he did this I was caught completely off guard but it was insanely hot. After this he went back to the sensation play before he slipped his fingers under my singlet and found my nipple. With one hand he started pinching softly, working it up to a sharp pain while he used the other hand to cut off my airflow again. I was more excited than I had ever been in my life.

Loki finally stood up and pulled me to my feet. Unsure of what to do or what was coming next, I stood there with my wrists cuffed and blindfolded until he slowly pulled the hood off my head. I wasn’t sure what to expect. Would he be in some sort of sadistic topspace? Would I be cut loose and left to 10 deal with whatever crazy feelings I had on my own? The hood came off and I opened my eyes, adjusting to the dim light of the room. And there he was, staring me dead in the eye, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He embraced me in a deep hug and let me stay like that for a while.

Five minutes and a few nipple pinches later, he took olas me back to the set up area and told me to take a seat before he handed me a cup of water. He sat next to me and watched while I came back to reality, making sure, I assume, that I had no problems. My hands were uncuffed, the collars were unlocked and I was free again after spending my first six hours as a sub.

If I had to sum up that night, I’d say that it was an Google important second step on what is shaping up to be a long, exciting journey. The discoveries I made have blown my mind wide open and I’m incredibly excited for what comes next. The next two months are shaping up to be very busy and very fun.

My First Time

It’s been about 48 hours since my first “real” experience and I’m still trying to process what happened. Up until around 11 PM on Saturday (henceforth referred to as point zero) all my experience with BDSM had been at my own hand, the product of almost a decade of self bondage play. However, thanks to a combination of several different factors, I was able to experience my first real bondage.

The first, and probably most important factor was the group of guys I was able to meet and hang out with at SELF 16. atlantarubber, ragincajun, atlloki, sirbrian1976 and prophet812 (dj) were all shockingly nice people in person, doubly so when they learned about my kinky-but-innocent nature. I want to thank atlantarubber in particular for the words of advice he gave me about my limits. Lesson 1: You can still have a ton of fun even if you’re not into having your dick or ass played with at all. atlloki sought me out specifically on Friday night and helped cheap jerseys me feel more at home in my first few hours at SELF. SirBrian1976 invited me to spectate a flogging scene with him and prophet812 after he noticed me sitting alone and shivering (the host hotel was exceptionally cold and I was under dressed). prophet812 himself took the time to greet me the next day and later took the lead in Jerseys dominating me. ragincajun and I didn’t really have a chance to talk at length, as he was occupied for most of
Friday and Saturday getting his back and ass thoroughly flogged by atlantarubber. He was just as nice as everyone else, however.

The second factor was a sudden burst of confidence I had when I got home Friday night. I decided that I wasn’t going to be a wet fish the next day, no sir. I was gonna stride into that hotel, find someone and ask if maybe I could get put in a rope harness later that night. I’d done my research, I knew these guys were sane, I knew SELF was a safe location and I knew it was time. This was my firs real opportunity to play and I wasn’t going to let it go wooshing past me.

Ok, so I didn’t stride in there like I owned the place, but I wasn’t nearly as nervous when I showed up for my volunteer shift on Saturday afternoon. prophet812 came over to introduce himself again (he had been indisposed the previous evening). After a few moments of idle chitchat I knew time was running out so I swallowed my last bit of apprehension and dropped the question that will define a huge part of me for the rest of my life: “Who should I talk to about getting a rope harness tonight?”

He smiled. “Pretty much anyone, but what about a straitjacket?”. And thus I learned my second important lesson of the weekend: just ask! There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Even a minimal amount of effort on my part was rewarded with an offer to spend some time with one of my biggest fetishes.

The point of no return arrives. Before I really know what’s happening, Brian says its time, tells me to take off my shirt and hold my arms out in front of me. He pulls the straitjacket up my arms and starts tightening the straps on the back. First the shoulder blades, then the lower back. He pulls my arms through the loop on the front and straps them down to the back. Then comes the crotch strap, the last piece of the puzzle. Once brian finishes tightening it to his satisfaction, he steps back and asks me how it feels.
“Fantastic!” I say. “Stand back, I want to test it.”
And then I fought with everything I had to get out, to make one of the straps budge even a little bit. No give, no chance. I was finally stuck in something I truly could not escape from without assistance. The loss of control was incredible and about to get way, way better. We moved into one of the side rooms so atlantarubber could play with cajun and so I could be further restrained. My first instinct was to take a peek inside brian’s toy bag, but he had different ideas and told me to sit down in a chair (my legs completely melted at this point, I was so excited).

Not being in a position to argue, I obliged and was rewarded with a pair of leg irons locked around my ankles with the chain running through part of the chair. Shortly thereafter, atlantarubber used some mls rope to tie me to the chair by my arms. I could pull on the ropes all I wanted but the weren’t going to budge either. I spent a few minutes struggling, just enjoying my predicament before I asked brian if I could try a (light) hood. He was more than happy to let me try it out and had it quickly zipped over my head. Now I started to understand subspace better. Losing even just your sense of sight and the sense of isolation enhances your other senses, especially hearing and Формула-DIM touch. I tried to decide what was coming next, who was standing where. Unable to do so, I tried to get the hood off but I didn’t have any way to do so. I could have spent an hour like that, but I had other things I wanted to try too, so I asked them to take the hood off. Loki wandered back in from his volunteer duti
es and asked if he could punch my upper back a little bit (he was wearing boxing gloves as fist mitts). I said sure and he started punching, very softly at first but slowly ramping up enough to Creative make me grunt with every impact. It was amazing, like a massage on steroids.

Once we’d had enough of that, dj offered to let me try on a blindfold. Unlike the hood from earlier, this was the real deal: padded foam around an empty center (like a donut) so you could open your eyes and still not see any light. I have never known such complete darkness. Like before, being blind enhanced my other senses, which dj took advantage of by dragging the tips of a light plastic flogger across the back of my head where my hairline meets my neck. It felt amazing, and got me even further into subspace. After that, they removed my blindfold, and tried to decide what else they could do to me. dj pulled out brian’s collar and leash Servus and looked at me. I nodded.

Brian untied my arms and released my ankles from the leg irons. He was going to leave them off but I wanted to keep them on even if they weren’t keeping me in one place. dj walked over and secured the collar around my neck before attaching the leash. After ensuring that it wasn’t hurting me, he started to walk me out of the room and into the main lobby cheap nba jerseys area. Seeing as how this was my first experience cheap jerseys ever though I wasn’t going to let him just pull me around like that, so I fought back. I fought and fought to keep him from yanking me around but to no avail. My legs buckled and I had to basically leap across the room to keep from falling over. We repeated the process a few more times, him taking me wherever he wanted, even if I fought back. To have no control, no choice in what happened and no means to fight back was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done or experienced. After that, dj took me back to the room and had me kneel while he took the collar off.

I had earlier voiced my interest in trying out some wrestling on some mats provided and brian was happy to let me get in touch with my raw instincts. Truth be told, I wish I could say I mopped the floor with him but I am not the picture of masculinity. After five solid pins I had been thoroughly trounced and had to bow out. I’ll have to work on my fitness regime (read: actually start one) and ask for a rematch. One positive note: I look damn good in a singlet.

And with that, my first time was over. I said my goodbyes, gave out a copious amount of hugs and thanked everyone profusely for one of the funnest nights of my life so far.

It’s cheap jerseys now been about 72 hours since 11PM Saturday (I took my time with this, wanted to make it good) and I think I’ve got a good handle on what happened and where I go from here. Everyone I played with has offered to answer any questions I have and invitations to play further have been extended. I don’t know where I’ll go from here, but I can tell you that things are about to get a lot more exciting.