International Mister Anxiety

This time next week I'll be in Chicago for IML. I have an interesting relationship with IML: After fantasizing about it for years I finally buckled down and decided to go in 2014. Life Happened™, punched me in the dick, and tried to ruin the experience for me. Luckily I was able to lean on a few very good friends and wound up having a really, really good time.

Things are unfolding a little differently this year. Texas Boy and I have been dating long-distance for a while now and we're both fairly comfortable with whatever the fuck you want to call our arrangement. We haven't seen each other since February though, so I'm afraid that we're gonna be torn between "I wanna spend every waking moment attached to you" and "I want to go and explore some stuff. Bye!"

The big 'umbrella' fear for me is that TB doesn't have nearly as much experience as I do with big events like these. Between the all the new people he wants to meet and the crowds and the fact that he's 'fresh meat', I feel like the entire weekend might be overwhelming in general. Luckily, we're not going in completely blind and I (think I) know him well enough to understand what situations might make him uncomfortable. We've also got a hotel room to ourselves, which I think will help us decompress as well.

ON THE OTHER HAND, TB is put together a lot better than I am. He does a better job of socializing (IE: he doesn't have a resting bitch face like I do) and he's just altogether smarter and more logical than me. Seriously, he's talked me down from more than a few anxiety attacks over the last year. One time he texted me that he'd been in an accident and that he was uninjured. For most people, I'd have blown their phone the fuck up trying to get in touch. TB knows his stuff though, so I just texted back for him to call me when he could and put it out of my mind until later.

So yeah. I'm at a weird point where I'm not-freaking-out-but-a-little-closer-to-that-point-than-I-like-being. The critical thing is that TB and I keep talking and communicating. If we keep doing that, IML will almost certainly go off without a hitch. If nothing else, it'll be really awesome to hang out with all our friends, old and new alike.

"What the fuck OJ, this isn't kinky at all!" I know! But this relationship stuff is important and it might help someone else. Besides, all my kinky shit is on Tumblr and Twitter these days.