Alright, sit down. We need to talk.

Y’all SUCK at communicating. Especially when it comes to messages on Recon (and GearFetish). Ho-lee-crap. If I get one more message that consists solely of “hey” or “sup” or “yo” or any of the thousands of other single-word messages out there I am going to start hurting people.

STOP SAYING HEY. Yes, it’s an easy way to see if the person you’re messaging wants to have a conversation but it makes the second half of that (actually getting to a conversation) incredibly difficult. Let me outline a common conversation I have:

And thus nothing ever happens until we repeat the same conversation a few months later. THIS SUCKS. Stop doing that. I get it. This kinky shit is new and frightening, I know, I’ve been there. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say what you wanna do, assuming you’ve even reached that point. But sending me a one-word message isn’t going to get you anywhere and it’s going to make me not want to waste my time taking to you.

Believe it or not, I’m a pretty nice guy. Same goes for a lot of other guys and gals in the community. We like you. We like that you’ve begun rationalizing your kink. We want to help you. Some of us even like tying up new guys! Personally, if someone doesn’t want to jump right into playing, I’m cool with that. I’m happy to meet up for coffee or dinner or drinks or whatever. I can’t speak for other folks but I’m sure they’re the same way.

What I’m not happy with is trying to decipher that fact from your single word messages, or the long-ass conversations where nothing happens. If you’re nervous or new or inexperienced, just come right out and say so, don’t dance around the issue. On top of clearing things up, it’s also a huge sign of maturity on your part and makes me more inclined to talk to you.

That said, if you’re on Recon to get your rocks off by talking to people and jerkin’ it to their pics, don’t waste anyone’s time. Go to nifty or tumblr for that, dammit.

An addendum: Calling myself or someone else “sir” or “boy” right off the bat might show that you understand a few of the intricacies but for the love of god. Stop. Doing. That. I can’t think of anyone who appreciates or expects that sort of treatment. Personally, I specifically mention not to do so in my profile, so your use of those terms says you haven’t read anything I’ve written (which is a huuuuuuuge red flag).