It’s been about 48 hours since my first “real” experience and I’m still trying to process what happened. Up until around 11 PM on Saturday (henceforth referred to as point zero) all my experience with BDSM had been at my own hand, the product of almost a decade of self bondage play. However, thanks to a combination of several different factors, I was able to experience my first real bondage.
The first, and probably most important factor was the group of guys I was able to meet and hang out with at SELF 16. atlantarubber, ragincajun, atlloki, sirbrian1976 and prophet812 (dj) were all shockingly nice people in person, doubly so when they learned about my kinky-but-innocent nature. I want to thank atlantarubber in particular for the words of advice he gave me about my limits. Lesson 1: You can still have a ton of fun even if you’re not into having your dick or ass played with at all. atlloki sought me out specifically on Friday night and helped me feel more at home in my first few hours at SELF. SirBrian1976 invited me to spectate a flogging scene with him and prophet812 after he noticed me sitting alone and shivering (the host hotel was exceptionally cold and I was under dressed). prophet812 himself took the time to greet me the next day and later took the lead in dominating me. ragincajun and I didn’t really have a chance to talk at length, as he was occupied for most of
Friday and Saturday getting his back and ass thoroughly flogged by atlantarubber. He was just as nice as everyone else, however.
The second factor was a sudden burst of confidence I had when I got home Friday night. I decided that I wasn’t going to be a wet fish the next day, no sir. I was gonna stride into that hotel, find someone and ask if maybe I could get put in a rope harness later that night. I’d done my research, I knew these guys were sane, I knew SELF was a safe location and I knew it was time. This was my firs real opportunity to play and I wasn’t going to let it go wooshing past me.
Ok, so I didn’t stride in there like I owned the place, but I wasn’t nearly as nervous when I showed up for my volunteer shift on Saturday afternoon. prophet812 came over to introduce himself again (he had been indisposed the previous evening). After a few moments of idle chitchat I knew time was running out so I swallowed my last bit of apprehension and dropped the question that will define a huge part of me for the rest of my life: “Who should I talk to about getting a rope harness tonight?”
He smiled. “Pretty much anyone, but what about a straitjacket?”. And thus I learned my second important lesson of the weekend: just ask! There’s no such thing as a stupid question. Even a minimal amount of effort on my part was rewarded with an offer to spend some time with one of my biggest fetishes.
The point of no return arrives. Before I really know what’s happening, Brian says its time, tells me to take off my shirt and hold my arms out in front of me. He pulls the straitjacket up my arms and starts tightening the straps on the back. First the shoulder blades, then the lower back. He pulls my arms through the loop on the front and straps them down to the back. Then comes the crotch strap, the last piece of the puzzle. Once brian finishes tightening it to his satisfaction, he steps back and asks me how it feels.
“Fantastic!” I say. “Stand back, I want to test it.”
And then I fought with everything I had to get out, to make one of the straps budge even a little bit. No give, no chance. I was finally stuck in something I truly could not escape from without assistance. The loss of control was incredible and about to get way, way better. We moved into one of the side rooms so atlantarubber could play with cajun and so I could be further restrained. My first instinct was to take a peek inside brian’s toy bag, but he had different ideas and told me to sit down in a chair (my legs completely melted at this point, I was so excited).
Not being in a position to argue, I obliged and was rewarded with a pair of leg irons locked around my ankles with the chain running through part of the chair. Shortly thereafter, atlantarubber used some rope to tie me to the chair by my arms. I could pull on the ropes all I wanted but the weren’t going to budge either. I spent a few minutes struggling, just enjoying my predicament before I asked brian if I could try a (light) hood. He was more than happy to let me try it out and had it quickly zipped over my head. Now I started to understand subspace better. Losing even just your sense of sight and the sense of isolation enhances your other senses, especially hearing and touch. I tried to decide what was coming next, who was standing where. Unable to do so, I tried to get the hood off but I didn’t have any way to do so. I could have spent an hour like that, but I had other things I wanted to try too, so I asked them to take the hood off. Loki wandered back in from his volunteer duti
es and asked if he could punch my upper back a little bit (he was wearing boxing gloves as fist mitts). I said sure and he started punching, very softly at first but slowly ramping up enough to make me grunt with every impact. It was amazing, like a massage on steroids.
Once we’d had enough of that, dj offered to let me try on a blindfold. Unlike the hood from earlier, this was the real deal: padded foam around an empty center (like a donut) so you could open your eyes and still not see any light. I have never known such complete darkness. Like before, being blind enhanced my other senses, which dj took advantage of by dragging the tips of a light plastic flogger across the back of my head where my hairline meets my neck. It felt amazing, and got me even further into subspace. After that, they removed my blindfold, and tried to decide what else they could do to me. dj pulled out brian’s collar and leash and looked at me. I nodded.
Brian untied my arms and released my ankles from the leg irons. He was going to leave them off but I wanted to keep them on even if they weren’t keeping me in one place. dj walked over and secured the collar around my neck before attaching the leash. After ensuring that it wasn’t hurting me, he started to walk me out of the room and into the main lobby area. Seeing as how this was my first experience ever though I wasn’t going to let him just pull me around like that, so I fought back. I fought and fought to keep him from yanking me around but to no avail. My legs buckled and I had to basically leap across the room to keep from falling over. We repeated the process a few more times, him taking me wherever he wanted, even if I fought back. To have no control, no choice in what happened and no means to fight back was one of the funnest things I’ve ever done or experienced. After that, dj took me back to the room and had me kneel while he took the collar off.
I had earlier voiced my interest in trying out some wrestling on some mats provided and brian was happy to let me get in touch with my raw instincts. Truth be told, I wish I could say I mopped the floor with him but I am not the picture of masculinity. After five solid pins I had been thoroughly trounced and had to bow out. I’ll have to work on my fitness regime (read: actually start one) and ask for a rematch. One positive note: I look damn good in a singlet.
And with that, my first time was over. I said my goodbyes, gave out a copious amount of hugs and thanked everyone profusely for one of the funnest nights of my life so far.
It’s now been about 72 hours since 11PM Saturday (I took my time with this, wanted to make it good) and I think I’ve got a good handle on what happened and where I go from here. Everyone I played with has offered to answer any questions I have and invitations to play further have been extended. I don’t know where I’ll go from here, but I can tell you that things are about to get a lot more exciting.